Introduction by Dr. Judi Jackson
宝盈APP登录事务副主任兼妇女项目协调员
以下是NOBTS宝盈APP登录在去年五月的红毯周上完成“透过写作拓展你的女性事工”课程的第二篇文章.
When I met the author, Melinda Hendrix, earlier this year, my heart ached over the tragedy that had pierced her family. Yet, even as we talked briefly before a class, 我感觉到一种难以置信的平安，这是一个破碎的女人寻求上帝的手和心灵的结果. 鉴于我们敬爱的NOBTS教授约翰·吉布森最近去世了, 我觉得梅琳达充满希望的话语会在我们最需要上帝的应许的时候指引我们!
梅林达·亨德里克斯(Melinda Hendrix)是妇女部研究生证书课程的宝盈APP登录. 她在密西西比州麦迪逊市的布罗德莫尔浸信会担任妇女事工协调员.
Bitter or Better? My Journey through Pain
By Melinda Hendrix
Has life ever knocked you down? Have you experienced a faith-shaking event? 当环境看起来势不可挡的时候，你信靠神的程度有多深? If I had been asked those questions seventeen years ago, 我的回答很像彼得在马太福音26:33的回答, “Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away.” But God knew my shortcomings. He knew when tested I would fail, just like Peter. 他给彼得的礼物，他也给了我，我将永远感激. 通过让我看到自己的弱点，他教我如何真正信靠他.
2007年5月13日母亲节那天，我最小的儿子泰特在足球场上受伤了. He had broken the L5 vertebrae in his back. For several months we prayed for God’s healing. But God chose not to heal. 我现在意识到，当决定进行必要的手术时，我的态度开始改变. 在手术和漫长数月的康复过程中，我变得非常痛苦，对上帝感到愤怒. Did He not know how faithful I had been? Did He not understand that sports were Tait’s passion? How could He do this to my son, to our family? What was God thinking?
It was there in the depths of my despair that God spoke. Not audibly but in my heart. 我所经历的痛苦和辛酸是为了引起我的注意. 上帝想让我看到，我的信仰已经停滞不前，我并没有像我想象的那样根深蒂固. I was not growing spiritually. That is not what God has planned for me or for you. 我们要勤奋地寻求他，让他把我们塑造成他的模样. 彼得后书1:10说:“你们若行这些事，就永不跌倒。.“嗯，我不仅绊了一下，而且完全偏离了道路. Bitterness will do that to you and Satan loves it.
The lessons God taught me were hard and uncomfortable. He showed me that when life is good, trust is easy. But when trials come and your faith is tested, 深深扎根于神的话语和他的应许会给你坚实的立足点. 虽然我对圣经了解很多，偶尔也会忠实地学习圣经, to grow spiritually I needed consistency. 我需要勤奋和用心，学习神的话语，而不仅仅是阅读. 我非常感谢上帝的爱让我经历了失败的毁灭性痛苦, to see how weak my faith had become, and then, to encourage me to pursue Him passionately. Just like Peter, who wept bitterly over his failure, 我能站起来，满怀信心，大胆地讲神的道吗, too, was determined to stand firmly on Christ.
我从《宝盈集团bbin》开始读起，很快就发现，通过学习《宝盈APP登录》，我对上帝的认识前所未有. I caught a glimpse of His heart, His holy character, His passion, 他信守诺言的忠诚，以及他如何在人类的生活中工作. Spending time in God’s Word and with Him in prayer, I began to grow spiritually in ways I had not imagined. 我的生活开始牢固地建立在我与他的关系上. 在我失败的痛苦中，他为我重新指引了道路，因为他知道我的未来.
In the early hours of June 4, 2014, Tait, at the age of twenty-seven, was killed in a motorcycle accident. It was the worst day of my life. 当警察敲门通知我泰特的自行车被发现时, the first thing that came to mind was Job 1:21, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” My tears seemed endless, yet God had given me peace. I remember praying for reassurance that God was in control, that Tait was with Him enjoying life, 愿他赐我力量，使我行在他得荣耀的道上.
我迫切地需要感受上帝的感动，于是我开始寻找他. 我需要得到安慰，在我最痛苦的时候，他与我同在. I was not angry with God, for Psalm 139:16 says, 凡我所定的日子，还没有一日，都写在你的册上了.相信神的话，我知道这对神来说并不奇怪. I also knew God loved me. 当我走过事故现场时，我意识到上帝为我所做的一切. 泰特在我们住的湖上越过水坝时失去了对自行车的控制. 上帝很快就发现了事故和地点，使我免于不知道他发生了什么事的痛苦. 因为他的尸体被扔进了湖中，所以搜救队被叫到了现场. 他们花了一天的大部分时间潜水寻找他的尸体，吸引了媒体和旁观者的注意. 但上帝隐藏了他的尸体，社交媒体或晚间新闻上也没有出现他的照片.
In the hours I spent awaiting news of recovery, 我能够回忆起我和泰特之间有意义的谈话和美好的回忆. 我想起了三年前他为母亲节写给我的一封信. 他宁愿以书面形式而不是面对面地分享他的感受. It was a wonderful gift. 他表达了他对上帝的爱，以及他是如何通过生命中毁灭性的失望而在精神上成长的. 他感谢我在他生命中为他树立了榜样，也感谢我对他的爱. 当时，我非常高兴看到他与主同行并成长. But now, as I read the letter, I saw even more. 他说这是一封安慰信，正是我所祈求的. But even more astounding were these words Tait had written, “如果我能活到27岁或127岁，我会很高兴，因为我心里知道，我是在做上帝为我安排的事情。.“我立刻意识到，三年前上帝就在作工. 上帝知道我需要确凿的证据，他已经提前宝盈集团bbin好了.
The day of the burial was rainy and wet, quite messy outside but, as we left the house and crossed the dam, the rain stopped and a beautiful double rainbow appeared. It remained visible all the way to the cemetery. God was showing Himself faithful to me. 我可以继续用无数种方式描述上帝温柔的触摸，但事实是不变的, He knew this day would come and He had answered my prayer. While my heart was heavy with loss, my faith was intact and solid, 赞美上帝赐予我儿子的生命和赐予我的时间. Bitter? Not this time. Better? Absolutely, for I know my God and I trust Him completely.
